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Why is it so Hard?

6/16/2013

2 Comments

 
The unpleasant truth is that despite how easy we can make it seem
in books, practicing domestic discipline is hard.
My husband Jim and I have been practicing off and on for the last four years. We
started up again last September after a long lull, and have been mostly able to
stick with it since then. I think what has made the difference was finding the
DD network and getting support that way.



Still, it is tough, probably because I am so strong willed and he
is so easily forgiving. You wouldn’t think that would be a problem—him being
  forgiving, I mean. But too often he will excuse my behavior better than I can,
  which while sweet, leads to the most common problem within a DD marriage:
  inconsistency. We are both trying to get back on the right path, but I have to
  admit that when he isn’t enforcing rules I tend to run rampant. The defiant
  side of me rears her ugly head.


We have had many long—often heated—discussions about ending
  domestic discipline, but the truth is we both focus better with structure. I
  used to feel so weird for “needing” my husband to be in control, but I do. I
  need to know that he can and will take charge. We both like how our marriage
  functions under this regime, so why is it so hard to keep up?




Enough musing for now! Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful
  dads out there!

2 Comments
maryanne link
6/19/2013 01:23:04 am

we're new to dd and i still find it hard, but we've been married for nineteen years and i WISH i'd had this earlier in our lives. i was only 22 when i married and i can't tell you how many times i would have deserved a spanking for the mouth i had in those early years. what a mess. fast-forward to now, life is a little crazy with four kids, but now being in a dd relationship i find that i have FAR fewer meltdowns (from laundry overload, errands, house chores, etc) and i seem to just enjoy the day. there are no rules here because my husband thinks i shouldn't be micro-managed but i still get spanked fairly often. haha

i think the network of bloggers will help you, definitely, because for me they've been invaluable. good luck and i love your writing.... don't stop.

hugs,
m.

Reply
Dinah
6/19/2013 02:38:33 am

Thank you for saying that, Maryanne, I find it very encouraging! As long as someone is still reading, I will keep writing!

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